First let me start off saying, No, I'm not catholic, but I decided to give up something for Lent. I was aching to get closer to God, and I wanted him to shake up my life. Giving up something that I do everyday is exactly what I thought I needed in order to expand my relationship with God and truly feel his presence. After thinking about it, I wanted to give up something that would not necessarily benefit me in a physical way, so I gave up meat. (After all a cheese pizza is not healthy, but also does not have meat.)
One of the most important things I learned from this is when you ask God to shake up your life, he will follow through. These 40 days have brought me stress, brought me heartbreak, brought me pain, and brought me closer to the Lord. When I was confused and hurting I could only look to the Lord and his unconditional love. I found myself praying to God more than ever before for him to lead me down the path that glorifies him the most. I was praying for strength, and I was praying for peace. I was searching for answers in his word and in everything around me. I grew in Him and I have been reminded of the person I am just by looking for His approval in everything I do.
Every time I went to eat I was reminded of my promise to God that I would not eat meat. I was also reminded of Gods love and his BIG, HUGE, INCREDIBLE sacrifice of his perfect son for me through my little sacrifice of meat for him. These forty days were not easy, in fact, they have been some of the hardest days since starting college. During these forty days, however, I not only grew closer to the Lord, I grew closer to my God loving family and friends. I opened up to them and asked for prayer. They helped me see beyond my present and look to God and his far greater plan. "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways…. My ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:8-9. Gods ways are so much higher and far greater than my own. I am still left wondering about some things, but I have been given the peace I prayed for so many times by the constant reminder "Trust the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6. My forty day fast taught me far more than different variations of salads, pizza, and pasta, it reminded me of the person and woman I should strive to be. It reminded me of my passions and dreams. I was reminded each day that God is awesome, amazing, and all powerful, and for that I can not be more grateful.
Throughout these forty days I have started reading a book by Elizabeth George called Beautiful in Gods Eyes. This book focuses on the Proverbs 31 woman. I have challenged myself to strive towards the purity, honesty, hardworking, thriftiness, strong in character, kindness, wisdom, and holiness that the Proverbs 31 Woman exemplifies. I have challenged myself to love more, and I have challenged myself to have the mental and physical toughness to face the world to spread the light of the Lord. Through this book I have learned that these qualities do not appear, but rather my life from here on out is a journey to become more and more like the Proverbs 31 woman. Everyday will continue to have temptations and sin, but I know that God gave his son Jesus to die and wash away my sins and make me new in him again. I am thankful that God shook up my life when I asked him because now I am growing each and every day.
